Today was a sad face day (and that’s ok)

16 Aug

Back in the ‘dark days’ (an overly dramatic term given to the early days of Nancy) I would write all her sleep and feed times into a little book.  The idea was that it would help me spot patterns that might help us find some kind of routine.  Hmm. I eventually settled on following a pattern instead (big diff) – thanks to to chilled out advice of a lovely book called The Baby Sense Secret – BIG, HUGE recommend there.

Anyway, yes, those dark days were tough.  It felt like they would never end.  Being my first baby, I wasn’t 100% convinced that they would ever end.  I was totally sleep deprived, desperate for her to just sleep, I felt so uncertain of myself – unable to work out why she would scream for hours on end.  The one thing that really helped was to, each morning, give a smiley, sad or in-between face for the day before.  Over time, I could see that there were fewer sad faces and more happy faces.  Just seeing this made the sad face days easier to deal with.  It felt great to know that I was slowly ‘coming out the other side’ (another phrase frequently used – often prematurely).

If I were still writing things down, today would be a sad face day.  Nancy is almost nine months old now.  And actually the sad face day wasn’t really because of her.  It doesn’t need to be you see, especially now.  It’s more to do with how well I’ve coped with being a mother that day.  I should have known as well – yesterday was TOUGH.  Consisted of nasty cough (still), suspected stomach bug, killer lady pains and a mega trip into town for a passport interview and frantic shopping.  Urgh.  So I really should have just chilled the hell out today.

Today.  Get on a bus.  Two buggies already.  ’It’s ok, I’ll collapse mine’ – feeling slightly smug that I have an wonderful Maclaren that collapses easily.  Hmm, not so easy on a full bus when there’s a double buggy right next to me.  Or when the bus doesn’t have a big enough place to store it (when did buses stop providing big spaces for luggage?)  The kind childminder who was with the boys in the double buggy kindly held Nancy for me.  When I then struggled to keep moving it for people wanting to get on and off of the bus, another kind lady (the mother with the other buggy) picked it up for me and said she would hold it out of the way.  WOW.  This lady then got off, leaving a space for my buggy.  I swiftly and easily (love my Maclaren) unfolded my buggy and went to strap Nancy in.  ’What are you doing’ shouted the bus driver.  ’She got off, there’s space for my buggy now’ I said.  ’You need to push it into the gap’ he replied.  ’She needs to put the baby in first’ shouted a different, but just as kind, lady at the front of the bus’.  ’Yeh’, I said.  ’I need to make sure the baby is secured first – give me a break’.  Two minutes later the driver honked at another vehicle.  ’That driver’s got issues’ I said to the childminder with the boys. ‘Lack of sex’ she replied!!!  Oh we laughed.

Needless to say, the day didn’t get any better.  Nancy’s formula was too hot at milk time – frantic cooling of milk ensued.  I had to run back for a dropped bunny at another time.  All very hectic.  But do you know what?  Yea it was a sad face day, but these days they come maybe once a month (albeit in two’s it seems), rather than four times a week. So that’s progress and I am proud.  And in my times of need, who was there to help me, stand up for me and make me laugh?  Other Mums that’s who.  Aren’t they just wonderful?

The other moral of the story of course – next time just wait for the next bus.

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